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If you want to be viewed as a tourist in France, there is one surefire way to do it.
It’s not speaking English loudly, although that helps your case, as does carrying a large map and blocking intersections to read it. Driving too slowly or too carefully is a pretty dead giveaway of a non-local, as is exclaiming over things that are “quaint.” Wearing the “wrong” jeans is seen as a sin here, where the perfect jeans are completely moulant and give you the best-looking butt you’ve ever had, but not nearly as bad as the number one, all-powerful thing not to do while in France.
Eating on the street.
If you want to be spotted a mile away as a foreigner, be my guest: grab a sandwich from a boulangerie, a piece of fruit from a vendor or, horror of horrors, something pre-packed from your bag and dig in as you walk–after all, that’s more than acceptable back home, where lunch hours are hardly 20 minutes long and you barely have time for a cup of coffee before dashing out the door in the morning. But take it from my first-hand experience of having Frenchmen jovially yet judgmentally wish me “Bon appétit” as I scurried down the Parisian streets with a sandwich in hand or Provencaux with their berets and sets of boules stop playing and watch as I chomp on an apple–if you want to be ridiculed, vas-y, but if you want to appear to be a local, please, find a cozy café and have a seat.
I understand that it’s not easy–there are things to do and people to see. But if you just take a breath and look around as you nibble at your midday meal, you will enjoy it all–France, the people you’re with, your time, and the food–quite a bit more. There is so much to look at here in France, so many things to observe and people to see, and I’ve learned, after quite some time, that the majority is much better seen from behind a glass (or a carafe) of wine at some little table on a café’s terrace.
The only exception to this rule is le quignon, the crusty end of your baguette as you leave the boulangerie. To this, I say go for it: there’s nothing better than hot baguette fresh from the oven. But be sure to save the rest for the juices that these tomatoes will give off.
Courgettes with Feta and Mint
4 globe zucchini
1/2 cup feta
1 egg
2 tsp. mint
1 tsp. herbes de provence
1/2 tsp. freshly ground black pepper
1/2 tsp. salt (depending on the feta you use, this may not be necessary)
Preheat the oven to 400 degrees. Slice the tops of your zucchini off and reserve for later. Place the zucchini on a nonstick baking dish or one greased with a little bit of olive oil. Roast the zucchini 10-15 minutes, until the flesh is soft.
Scoop the flesh from the zucchini into a bowl. Drain of excess liquid and mash with a fork until creamy. Add the cheese, egg, herbs, pepper and salt, and combine with the fork until smooth. Scoop the mash back into the zucchini bulbs and roast until the filling puffs up and turns golden on top. Serve with the reserved zucchini tops.
Tomates à la Provencale
4 tomatoes
1 tsp. salt
1/2 cup breadcrumbs
1 tbsp. herbes de provence
1/2 tsp. fresh black pepper
2 Tbsp. pine nuts
2 tsp. olive oil
Slice the tomatoes in half and sprinkle them with salt. Allow them to sit as you bring the oven to 400 degrees. Combine the breadcrumbs, herbes de provence and black pepper in a bowl.
After five minutes, the tomatoes will have released some of their water. Tip this water off and dispose of it.
Lay the tomatoes in a nonstick baking dish or one greased with a little bit of olive oil. Evenly distribute the breadcrumb mixture, and scatter the pine nuts on top. Drizzle the olive oil over the tomatoes, and roast them until the tops are golden.
